Here kitty, kitty
by Soccus
Summary: Seekers may be rather abrasive towards most mechs, but when faced with animals… well it's not like Ravage is going to complain about cuddles. And polishing. G1 Crackfic.


Summary: Seekers may be rather abrasive towards most mechs, but when faced with animals… well it's not like Ravage is going to complain about cuddles.

This is a oneshot that came from wondering "What if Seekers don't get along with other mechs because they get along with animals better?" Or something like that. I don't know, really.

All I know is that it wouldn't go away until I had written out the dratted thing and that there are three other oneshots that have been _spawned _by this bunny.

This takes place sometime at the formation of the Decepticons, mostly from headcanon/fanon. It leads on to the G1 series.

It takes some inspiration from Bibliotecaria D's "Footnotes" series (the Stunticons _adore _cats in that one).

This is also complete crack and possibly funny.

* * *

The first time the newly-minted Decepticon Seekers had met Ravage, they'd all frozen as one, staring at the cassette like it was a gift from Primus. Soundwave, the newly-assigned Communications Officer and head of Special Operations (his actual position in the hierarchy of the army was yet to be confirmed), had skimmed their minds with his telepathy, just enough to read their base intentions without alerting them to his presence, and seeing as there were no thoughts of violently offlining Ravage, had dismissed it as Seekers being… Seekers.

Or he would have if Starscream, the Commander of said Seekers, had not walked in looking as if he was about to tear strips off their plating for some reason or another. Soundwave certainly hadn't wanted to stick around for _that_ shrieking fit. He had to hear enough of them during officers' meetings anyway when Starscream tried to convince everyone why _he _should be SIC and not Soundwave, or Shockwave.

Soundwave had called Ravage back towards him, intending to leave with his cassette, but then Starscream had had exactly the same reaction as the Seekers, leaving Soundwave baffled.

Even amongst the wild crowd that made up the "rebels" known as the Decepticons Starscream struck out as a particularly loud, vain, self-absorbed, mercurial mech, always having something to say about anything that crossed his path (and a few things that didn't too). No one had ever known him to be struck _dumb_ by any circumstances, not _ever_.

Yet here his was, his jaw swinging open like the hinge was broken, no noise coming from him whatsoever. If it hadn't been because of his cassette Soundwave might even have been pleased to have a silent Starscream for once. Instead it was spooking him quite badly and he gave the order, "Ravage return."

As usual the Cassette folded back up and disappeared into Soundwave's chest, and just like that the spell over the Seekers was broken and they, even Starscream, looked at Soundwave's chest almost mournfully. Starscream (it always had to be him, didn't it?) snapped back to almost normal a few seconds later and shrieked out a command for his Seekers to get outside for drills. The flock of about six (what with their vibrant paintjobs and interconnected minds Soundwave sometimes couldn't tell how many there were), scattered as if the Unmaker himself was chasing them. That left Soundwave and Starscream standing alone with an awkward silence lingering between them like a bad smell.

Soundwave didn't have a clue what to do. Usually he didn't speak unless he was asked, or he had to give his cassettes orders. Starscream spoke. "So _that's _one of your famous cassettes… are they all in a – _similar_ form?"

Soundwave still did not know what to say.

* * *

It became stranger and stranger, with Seekers starting to loiter, quite conspicuously, around Soundwave; watching his chestplates when they thought he wasn't watching.

And no, thank you, Soundwave was not being _paranoid_ about it. He'd reviewed the security tapes and had seen them. Staring at him.

Noisy, vain, irritating Seekers was something Soundwave had some understanding of, something he could apply the logic of "they're Seekers, this is their natural behaviour" to; this was something else and it made Soundwave uneasy. Oh scrap his pride; the situation frightened Soundwave, so much that his work suffered for it.

Time to take action.

And so it was with a heavy spark full of much guilt that he gave Ravage the order "Investigate Seeker behaviour."

How much Ravage understood of the situation, in other words how much Ravage was not a _drone_, was shown by the expression of pure betrayal, which seemed to say: _How can you do this to me? Don't you appreciate me and my hard work?_

Yes he was throwing Ravage into a nest full of Sharkticons, and yes he felt guilty about it, but he was not going to change his mind.

No. This problem had to be solved, one way or another.

* * *

Ravage prowled, with much trepidation, towards the part of the base that had been assigned to the Seekers. He really didn't want to do this, didn't want to go near the Seekers who had taken to stalking Soundwave through the halls, didn't want the winged pests anywhere near him.

He was a spy and spies lived or died by being unnoticed. The Seekers always noticed him and it terrified Ravage, even more so than this whole fragged up situation scared Soundwave.

Sure, he wanted to know _why_ they were doing this, but that didn't mean he wanted to put himself into the firing line. Soundwave's reassurances that there was no menace in the minds of the Seekers, pertaining Ravage, did nothing to dissuade his fear. You didn't have to do bodily harm to someone to hurt them and you didn't have to feel malicious towards someone to want to hurt them (see Vortex).

Soundwave's word was law though, and so Ravage had to do this.

Might as well go to what was probably the source of the strange behaviour: the Command Trine.

He slunk through the shadows towards their door, sending it a polite ping with his ID code to request entry from the Seekers.

Electronic doors could not open faster than they had been programmed to, but that didn't mean that the impression of an intense will for the dratted thing to hurry up couldn't be made from the sound of the shuffling feet and the impatient 'Humph' from within.

Then there stood two Seekers in front of Ravage, both wearing similar flabbergasted expressions. Their third member was lying on a large berth on one side of the room, looking rather like his processor had been knocked for a loop.

The scene remained frozen that way for a few minutes, until whatever had been running through the Seekers' processors and stalling them, decided to give up and sulk. Without a word Starscream and Skywarp simultaneously reached for Ravage; the cassette waited nervously for the hammer to fall.

* * *

Soundwave had become extremely agitated since he'd sent Ravage on the (suicide) mission. That had been six hours ago. Although he usually had patience in excess, this wait had stretched it to its limit.

Another forty-five minutes passed in what felt like an extremely anxious age to Soundwave when the doors to his quarters opened. In stalked, or rather _swaggered_, Ravage, better polished and detailed than Soundwave had seen the cassette be in a long time. It also looked decidedly smug.

"Query: explanation for Seeker actions retrieved?"

Ravage's spools and internal machinery spun, creating a soothing, pleased rattle.

:: Seekers have fondness for beastforms.:: Ravage said through the comm.

It took a moment for that to sink in. Seekers loved animals?

"…" was Soundwave's rather stunned reply. Ravage understood it anyway. It was the stunned silence only Soundwave made, and it was invariably no different to any other silences Soundwave made. The cassettes just guessed by knowing the situation.

Then logic caught up on Soundwave and the world made sense again. This was a Seeker peculiarity and since Seekers were odd anyway, this meant he could simply write it off as another one alongside narcissism, vanity, and flightiness.

Especially since it meant no harm would come to his beast cassettes. Even more so because Ravage got a free polish out of it and was _happy _now.

Soundwave thought for a moment longer.

"Recommendation: Lazerbeak accompany Ravage next time."

* * *

Ho-hum. Another silly ficlet while I should be working on other things…

Oh well. Hope you guys enjoyed it.

Eli


End file.
